Hallo!
Das mit den Gedichten ist bei mir schon etwas her, sie sind auch etwas komisch geschrieben und viele haben mir schon gesagt, ich solle sie nicht ausstellen. Ich tu es aber trotzdem und bitte euch, sie nur zu lesen, wenn ihr "stabil" genug dafür seid. Nicht, dass ich wieder Ärger bekomme! (Es sind übrigens nicht alle englisch...)
Vielleicht würde auch mal jemand was dazu schreiben?
Noelle


Dying

I lie dying in the dark
And I’m breathing no more
My pain has already killed me
There’s no life inside my chest
Can’t feel the blood in my veins
Can’t feel my heart beating
Why can’t they let me go?
Why am I not allowed to die?
Life is just an anguish
It can’t make me satisfied
Where will it lead to?
I can’t spread my wings
Who will cure my dead soul?
Who will heal my deep wounds?
Why can’t they understand?
Why can’t I kill myself?
Everybody says I have to live
But what if I don’t want to?
They should left me alone
They should only let me die


Never Live

May I leave them?
May I leave this world?
May I kill myself?
May I die?
I fought for so long
I’ve tried not to go under
I can’t take any more
Where is my sense?
No one wanted to heal my wounds
They let them bleed and die
And I only had to watch
May I cry?
Tried to be as they wanted me to be
But I can’t be like them
I’m only who I am
May I be lost?
I’ve cried so many tears
Cause they left me alone
I’m the first who has to die
May I bleed?
Where do my poems lead me to?
I can only feel pain
Lost and forgotten in this world
May I give in?
My suicide

Eternal Sleep

Darkest night, deep black sky
The stars don’t shine, I can’t see light
But it’s all the same to me
Cause I know I’ll die anyhow

All I do for my lost image
It will be wrong and damned
There’s no way out for me
I’m going down by hopeless force

I can’t defeat it in my life
So I’ll try to do it in the end
Can’t understand, that’s true
No one knows: I long for my end

I’ve lost the ground under my feet
And I can’t spread my wings
Then I fall into myself
I will sleep my eternal sleep

I’ve lost the path before me
I couldn’t hear what they had said
It’s true, I only wanna sleep
And never awake

Understanding

So long I've searched for you
And never found a reason
Unfortunately I have to see
That I've never been closed to you

I've tried to be someone else
Tried to be what I never was
I think, I've maintained this lie
Only to be found by you

Haven't you seen me?
Do you know what I've done?
No matter what I'll tell them
They will be against me

I am different from them
And they don't wanna accept
Now I know I will never be
Like they want me to be

Because the way I love you...
They don't know distress and madness
They haven't felt like me
Because they don't wannna understand

Will they ever see what I am?
They can't understand my feelings
Will they ever know how I'm feeling?
Or will they ever know me?

Sonnet of Lies

I can't remember the place I belong
I don't know why but I'm frozen inside
I'm withering again to what I have been
There's no more escape, no way to hide

More lies about me, I can't take much more
It was my sin, I've betrayed everyone
Where has my sense gone that I now can't feel?
But am I the one who faults?

Take me away from my history
Save me from all I've ever said
Don't let me stay here alone

Take me away from all of my lies
Catch me when I fall into the dark
Save me from the death in me



What's Love?

Love is a drug: You can't get enough!
Love is fear, love is pain.
Searching for answers, for feelings.
Searching for the right way without a destination, without any reason.
Love is important, love is absurd.
Cause you're waiting and waiting and waiting in vain.
But finally someone will come.
Somewhere, somehow!
Someone who loves you,
Someone who deceives you,
Someone who hurts you,
Someone who leaves you,
Someone who kills you!
It's the truth, you can't overcome.
Somehow you'll get a chance and somehow you'll lose it.
Love means sorrow, love means sadness.
Love will be madness!
Every time, everywhere!
Forever!
It is something that strikes you down.
It's more than hate, it's more than friendship!
But it's just a feeling.
Terrible, horrible, cruel, deadly!
In the end you will see: It wasn't fair!
It's immortal, it's painful!
You will see: It's worthwhile!
Someone will find you,
Someone will lead you,
Someone who knows how to help.
And you will notice: "I love you."



Hope for you

I don't know whether you've noticed.
I tell you: I can't take much more.
Is it still a life or just a hunt for you?
Cause I don't know: Can I live without you?
Now I wish you were at my side.
I wanna be with you forever.
Maybe it will come to an end,
But I don't know if you'll be there.
My only wish is to be with you,
But nevertheless I fear your decision.
What if you hate me? What if I'll fail?
What if my love to you destroyes me?
Will I get another chance?
My last attempt will decide!
Your sweet smile keeps me awake.
Will I ever be free and overcome my thoughts?
Fallen out of the sky you came to me.
I become mad when you spread your wings.
My hope for you becomes smaller,
Cause I've ever known, you hate me.
It's against all rules but there's still hope.
Believe in me and let your dreams fly with mine.
We'll never be together; that makes me sad.
Is it so? I have to let you go.

Leiden

Trauernd sitze ich hier
Zitternd und voller Schmerz
Wie fühlt es sich an, wenn man fällt?
Meine Hoffnung ist so dunkel
So viele Tränen führten mich her
So viel Angst, in der ich mich wog
Leise wimmernd in der Kälte dieser Welt
Verloren und niemals gefunden
Und langsam läuft das warme Blut
Mein Handgelenk hinunter und stirbt
Befreiung, Erlösung, es ist kein Grund
Die, die es merken, wenden sich ab
Und wäre da Licht, es würde verdeckt
Von Wolken aus schwarzen Träumen gesponnen
Ich falle in mich zusammen,
Weil mein Körper nicht mehr will
Meine Seele kann meine Schuld nicht mehr tragen
So wie sie sie einst trug, als noch alles gut war
Der Tod kommt früher, als man denkt...

Crying for you

What would they say if I told them?
I would be a slut. I would be guilty!
It's driving me mad. There's just madness.
It strikes me down. I can't get by.
Feelings are lying, but now I am sure.
I can't describe what I'm feeling for you.
Whatever I'll do it will never return.
It's running through my head every time.
It will be my fault. It's like crying.
I am crying for you, I am crazy for you.
You drive me crazy. I can't defend myself.
It's raining. It's raining again.
I am falling. But I don't know why.
What have I done that you deny?
Tell me, what's in your mind?
It was only a failure. All have failed.
I am searching for you but you're far away.
You seem so unattainable. What should I do?
What has happened that we parted?
I don't wanna understand! I just long for you!
Tell them, I would be a slut.
I can't be happy cause I AM A SLUT!
What can I do against it all? I will die!
My sweet darling, I want you back!
Don't you understand?
I will never let you go.

Falling

Am I alone in this painful time?
I see no mercy, I feel no pain inside.
I can't hear you in the darkness,
I long for your light.
Feelings are gonna strike me down.
I will never be free.
My black thoughts are crying for help!
Don't you see?
Tell me, where are you when I need to be with you?
Tell me, what has happened?
I feel so lost.
My sun will never rise. My light will never shine.
Cause I'm the one who has to die
Until the end of time.
There's no freedom, there's no love.
That is all just a lie.
My way, my life, it's not true!
Is it the only way to go for me?
It brings disaster on me. I will be my decline.
Where have you been?
Say who I am. I don't know!
Trouble's gonna make me unhappy.
It's driving me mad!
I will be lost, I will be dead, I'm gonna die!
What should I do?
Chosen, hidden, beaten, hurt, fallen, I'm just a wreck.
It's like a drug for my soul.
It makes me feeling nothing.
What about myself? What do I feel?
Will I ever be free? Will I ever be lucky?
Now I can feel the pain. It tears me apart!
Who will understand what I'm doing, what I'm feeling,
How I'm crying, why I'm dying?
And I will try to search for myself.
But I will fail like every time.
I am falling and there's no one to catch me
Until I'm going under. Will you be here?
I want you forever, I just wanna live.
Why am I not allowed to overcome? Why should I die?
Where is the end of that tunnel of life?
Where is the end of this way?
I wanna find it cause I just wanna die!
But then I spread my wings one more time.
I will fly away just one last time.

Frozen Reality

I can't feel the blood in my veins
And I see her face again
Through the mist of dawning end
And everywhere I go
I know, I'm just a victim
In the game of bloody life
I'll never find my way
Through the darkness, back to this world
Why is she haunting me?
She's the legend of my mind
Has frozen my memories
And all the moments of life
I just wanna die so much
But no one lets me go my way
There're always those whispering voices
Which lead me back on earth
She's cutting my soul all the time
She hurts me my heart so much
She will never let me go
I'm lost in her arms
And snow is falling to the ground
Which I can hold no longer
Where is the truth? I can't find it
There is no reason to go on
I only wanna feel my blood
Which is running out of me
Which shows me that I still can feel
Just one sign and I give in
I know, I can't be without her
But she destroys me every time
She strangles me, I can't breathe
Cause there is the fear of me
I am lost in reality
And I wanna give in
But no one can understand
I'm so alone
All over me is only fear
There's just ice to freeze me
And I can't do anything
Though I don't wanna do
I'm away from reality
I don't suppose: There's still hope
I don't believe in this
Cause I was disappointed
It will be my destiny,
My frozen reality
Forever

My Queen of Shadows

This life is unforgiven
Whispering and striking me down
Holding me back from my death
She said what I mean

Turning around me and ending
She will ever return to me
I can't spread my wings, I can't breathe
Trusting to no one

Into the cold winters of death
She put me and raised me there
Dove into the lake of my thoughts
So black as the night

Her arms around me, I'm so lost
She holds my hand through all the times
She's gone a long way with me
She is my decline

Past

I've been lost for a long time
I think I will never be found
Because I can't escape alone
I can't fly without my wings
Time has already caught me up
Cause I'm the last who has to live
I've been killed so long ago
But now I'm dying again
It was my destiny to fall
And now I see clearly enough
I can't trust myself anymore
I've been my own prisoner
Things can't be erased by time
It was only my own fault
I've been a fallen angel
I've been faithless, I've been dead
There were heavy walls around me
Overwhelming and full of blood
I've never been satisfied
I've gone under in a swamp of tears
I've screamed but no one heard me
Trying to live I've done everything
I've fallen into darkness
I couldn't breathe and get up
No one found me in the dark
I could already see the dusk
I thought the sun will never rise
Life has only been a fake
I could see my own decline
For dreams I had to give in
I think I will ever be lost
Now and forever, I'll give in

My Feelings for You

I feel a deadly pain inside my chest
A sharp feeling hurts my heart
It's running through every part of my body
My blood is getting colder and colder
My lonely heart is crying for you
I only hear a perfidious whisper
That makes me feeling worse
It's disappointing for my life
No one is here to share my pain with me
There is just loneliness and despair
My sins are striking me down
Tell me, where is the love?
My heart is beating when I see your face,
When I listen to your voice
I know, you think I was a slut
Which still loves you so much
But tell me, what should I do?
Tell me, why should I lie?
I have to overcome this pain
No matter whether alone or not!
I've understood, I can't be with you
But that's all no reason to deny
Can you imagine how much I long for you?
I wanna feel you in my arms
So far I don't know what I'm feeling for you
But now it is so clear
It's just a painful feeling to love you
But I can't do anything against my heart
I'm feeling madness, feeling sadness and despair
I hope you know: I long for you
It's the truth:
I still love you!



Without You

Don't you know? I'm still here.
Is that the end of all hope?
Is there a place for me in your heart?
Is there still hope?
My mad soul longs for you every day
Cause it doesn't wanna be alone
What have I to do to get you back?
You left me without any reason
I'm in despair, I can't see a light
I wanna find you anywhere
It's all desperate cause you won't come back!
Everywhere I'm searching, there's just darkness
I will only find madness
You're not longer here, you will find your way
And you leave me alone in the dark
My feeling for you is just sadness
Heaven will never receive me
Because I am not normal, I am quite mad
I still feel something for you
I still fear these little words:
"I will never return."
Please share your feelings with me one more time
You were my sin, it's better to go
But I need to be with you to live
I'm all alone without you
You were my angel, it's better to stop
In the end there's only fear
Fear of you, fear of me
Trying to be with you I do everything
I do everything for you.

Warum?

Warum können sie es nicht verstehen?
Warum sind sie jetzt so?
Warum machen sie mich fertig?
Warum habe ich nichts getan?

Warum habe ich versucht, dich zu mögen?
Warum liebe ich dich jetzt?
Warum habe ich es gehasst?
Warum haben sie es rausgefunden?
Warum denkst du nie daran?
Warum kapierst du es nicht?
Warum denn jeder, außer dir?
Warum magst du mich nicht?
Warum kann ich nicht von dir verlangen, mich zu lieben?
Warum musste das passieren?
Warum fühle ich mich so leer ohne dich?
Warum habe ich dich geliebt?

Warum fühle ich nichts mehr?
Warum bin ich so krank?
Warum verstehe ich mich selbst nicht mehr?
Warum sind da überall diese Schnitte in mir?

Warum - verdammt nochmal - lebe ich?
Warum verstehen sie mich nicht?
Warum hassen sie mich alle?
Warum darf ich nicht st*rb*n?

Tag für Tag

Jeden Tag dasselbe...
Jeden morgen dasselbe Lächeln
Es ist nicht echt
Nur eine Fassade

Jeden Tag, immer wieder...
Dieses aufgezwungene Lächeln
Um ihr zu zeigen
Dass sie nichts falsch macht

Tag für Tag, tausendmal
Diese Worte, die mich so verletzen
Wunden, dich ich nicht hätte sehen dürfen
Weil ich doch selbst welche habe

Tag für Tag, dieser Gedanke
Einfach zu sterben
Den niemand versteht
Weil es niemand ernst nimmt

Immer und immer wieder
Weil ich nicht mehr kann
Keiner merkt es
Nie wieder

Was ich will...

Meine Wunden sind so tief
Ich würde jetzt gerne schreien...

Du hast mich so sehr verletzt
Ich würde jetzt gerne weinen...

Ich weiß, es wird sich nie ändern
Ich würde jetzt gerne sterben...



What I want... (keine wörtliche, englische Übersetzung)

My wounds are so deep
I wanna scream so much...

You've hurt me so long
I wanna cry so much...

I know, it will never be changed
I wanna die so much...

Es ist...

...weil ich nie sein durfte, wer ich bin
...weil ich mich selbst erkannt habe
...weil ich ein schlechter Mensch bin
...weil ich niemals so sein könnte
...weil alle etwas von mir erwarten
...weil ich tausend Tränen vergoß
...weil nichts da war, nur Leere
...weil ich das alles nicht mehr will
...weil ich das alles nicht mehr kann
...weil ich es so will

...darum die Angst, das Blut und alles andere.

Razorblade

Razorblade - how did you find me?
Razorblade - why did you chose me?
Razorblade - I'm breathing no more.
Razorblade - I can't take much more.
Razorblade - I believe in you.
Razorblade - And now I trsut you.
Razorblade - Can you redeem me?
Razorblade - I don't like you
Anymore.

Hoffnung

Manchmal frage ich mich, wo ich bin...
Manchmal weiß ich nicht, wer ich bin...
Manchmal kann ich dich nicht sehen...
Manchmal bist du zu weit weg...

Wo ist der Weg, den ich gehen soll?
Wo ist das Ziel, das ich verfolge?
Wohin wirst du mich führen?
Wohin werde ich letzten Endes gehen?

Ich habe lange gesucht...
Ich habe lange nachgedacht...
Ich habe alles versucht...

UND MEINE HOFFNUNG GEFUNDEN!

Danke.

Everything

Do you know what it's like to be me?
Do you know what "life" means?
Can you say how I feel when I tell you that I'm dying?
Have you ever felt your blood running out of your body?
I can't feel my heart, my blood, my pulse.
Has everybody got a soul which revives us?
So many questions, I'm not allowed to ask.
They will never notice me, you will never help me!
Will I ever live again? Will my feelings return?
I've lost everything I could call "my life"!

Ein paar Zeilen über mich selbst...

Du hast viel zu lang gewartet
Jetzt ist es zu spät
Es wird dich niemand finden
In dieser kalten Welt
Der Spiegel zeigt dein Bild nicht mehr
Sieh' dich doch nur an!
Du weißt, jetzt ist alles vorbei
Niemand mehr da, der dich retten kann...

Erinner' dich, du hast's versprochen!
Hast doch alle betrogen!
Du bist wirklich nichts mehr wert;
So dermaßen verlogen!
Wer könnte dich schon noch lieben?!
Niemand, der dich mehr sieht...
Stirb' doch endlich, Miststück!!!
Du hast es nur verdient...

Blind

Hast nie alles gesehen.
Hast nie zugehört.
Hast alles nur noch schlimmer gemacht.
Hast dich nie dafür interessiert.
Hast doch nie versucht zu verstehen.
Hast nie versucht etwas zu ändern.
Hast noch nie etwas verstanden.
Hast keine Lust mehr auf mich.

Du hast doch gar nicht bemerkt, dass ich nicht mehr da bin.